STUMBLR

| A Coarse Ambiguity |

“Other people are not medicine.”

“I want to get across that bisexuality isn’t just a transitional state from being straight to gay, or that, you know, you just help out when the homosexuals are all busy.”

—   Alan Cumming on NPR

(Source: lizdexia, via cognitivedissonance)

ceciliadavidson:

robotsandfrippary:

itswalky:

taralys:

zeezoutenijs:

fattydingdongs:

ineloquentformalities:

reallymadscientist:

twotommyolivers:

Some context: entering this season, no woman had completed a televised course in either Japanese or American Ninja Warriors. I’d also argue that ANW’s qualifying courses are harder than any Stage 1 course on either.

This woman is a fucking badass. First woman ever to advance!

I’m not crying your crying

SHE IS SO STRONG AND GRACEFUL CRIES OPENLY

I had to look up another version bc lol europe but this is the coolest thing and NEVER have I ever wished so much I could show something to myself as a kid this badly like ugh

THIS IS SO FUCKING AMAZING! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.

AND IT’S SO IMPORTANT HOW THE CROWD SUPPORTED HER, EVERY SINGLE STEP OF THE WAY. FUCK YES.

awesome

ladies and gentlemen… Batgirl.

While the original Japanese version of Ninja Warrior (Sasuke) had a women’s tournament, I can vouch that this is for the most part true.

However, TwoTommyOlivers is wrong. There have been televised attempts by female competitors in Sasuke, most notably Chie Nishimura/Tanabe of Super Sentai fame, Masami Yusa, and Rie Komiya, a former Kunoichi champion.

(via cognitivedissonance)

(Source: trekgate, via karlsparxxx)

“Act my age?
What the fuck is that, “act my age”?
What do I care how old I am?
The Ocean is old as fuck.
It will still drown your ass with vigor.”

—   the greatest thing i have ever read (via seabelle)

(Source: howitzerliterarysociety, via carnivoroussquirrel)

fallenforbands:

hoffmango:

cause-shes-bittersweet:

smindersonfan:

secretmindreader:

Okay, this is actually what you do if you’re being sexually harassed in any kind of public space. Draw attention to it, preferably pull away and let EVERYONE know that someone is touching you. This will not only get him to get off you but he’ll definitely think about this situation next time he wants to do something like this.

Spreading the word.

My mom and I were talking about this today after hearing about a woman who was molested on a plane who said nothing until she was picked up at the airport by her parents. My mom looked at me and asked what I would do in that situation and I looked her dead in the eye and I told her “it would take me .02 seconds to realize what was going on and yell angrily, and then I would be straight on to bitch slapping him so hard he wouldn’t be able to see the punch I’d throw with the opposite hand”.
She nodded and accepted my salty language like a seasoned sailor.
I’ve had experience with this before, in Prague a group of five girls and I were followed by three men at night. After a while they started yelling at us, the most common being “how much?” Meaning how much we “cost” as prostitutes. Seeing as they weren’t going to stop, I turned on my heel, faced them (which surprised them), spat at their feet and responded with “You couldn’t afford me.” This prompted the other girls to start yelling back at them as well, starting with our spitfire Czech friend to start slinging curses in Czech as she and the rest of the girls came up beside me. Needless to say the men backed off and pretty much fled. They weren’t expecting a fight. It empowered me and encouraged the rest of the girls to yell back too.
I’ve heard that a lot of people don’t know what to do in this situation because they’ve been taught all their lives to be polite and non-aggressive. Keep your heads down or whatever.
Keep in mind that studies have shown that rapists look for victims who won’t fight back.
Remember that nobody has the right to touch you without your consent or harass you, and you have all the right to make the biggest fuss about it that you can possibly make.
Get angry. Be in command.

FUCKING RELEVANT

If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable like this, you do not need to be nice. Swear, kick, scream, make the asshole cry. You don’t have to nice, be as rude as you want

fallenforbands:

hoffmango:

cause-shes-bittersweet:

smindersonfan:

secretmindreader:

Okay, this is actually what you do if you’re being sexually harassed in any kind of public space. Draw attention to it, preferably pull away and let EVERYONE know that someone is touching you. This will not only get him to get off you but he’ll definitely think about this situation next time he wants to do something like this.

Spreading the word.

My mom and I were talking about this today after hearing about a woman who was molested on a plane who said nothing until she was picked up at the airport by her parents. My mom looked at me and asked what I would do in that situation and I looked her dead in the eye and I told her “it would take me .02 seconds to realize what was going on and yell angrily, and then I would be straight on to bitch slapping him so hard he wouldn’t be able to see the punch I’d throw with the opposite hand”.

She nodded and accepted my salty language like a seasoned sailor.

I’ve had experience with this before, in Prague a group of five girls and I were followed by three men at night. After a while they started yelling at us, the most common being “how much?” Meaning how much we “cost” as prostitutes. Seeing as they weren’t going to stop, I turned on my heel, faced them (which surprised them), spat at their feet and responded with “You couldn’t afford me.” This prompted the other girls to start yelling back at them as well, starting with our spitfire Czech friend to start slinging curses in Czech as she and the rest of the girls came up beside me. Needless to say the men backed off and pretty much fled. They weren’t expecting a fight. It empowered me and encouraged the rest of the girls to yell back too.

I’ve heard that a lot of people don’t know what to do in this situation because they’ve been taught all their lives to be polite and non-aggressive. Keep your heads down or whatever.

Keep in mind that studies have shown that rapists look for victims who won’t fight back.

Remember that nobody has the right to touch you without your consent or harass you, and you have all the right to make the biggest fuss about it that you can possibly make.

Get angry. Be in command.

FUCKING RELEVANT

If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable like this, you do not need to be nice. Swear, kick, scream, make the asshole cry. You don’t have to nice, be as rude as you want

(Source: nothingbutobsessions.tumblr.com\, via carnivoroussquirrel)

1.

Indians love fireworks.

We make millions selling illegal ones to white folks.

Well, not millions for each of us, but you know what I mean.

A working definition of tolerance: When Indians make money from white
folks celebrating their independence.

Ever have a bottle rocket fight? I’ve got a burn scar on my left thumb.

Reservation rumor: an M-80 firecracker was as powerful as a 1/4 stick
of dynamite. Wasn’t true, but we pretended it was true when we
threw them into ant piles.


2.

White eggs come from white chickens; brown eggs come from
brown chickens.

Have you ever hidden an egg in your home for the Easter hunt, and
then been unable to find it for days or even weeks afterward?
A few years ago, we hid an ostrich egg (an ostrich egg!) in our living
room and never found it. It still hasn’t gone bad enough to find it
by smell. Every so often, I look for it.

When I was a child, I cracked open a bright green painted egg
and discovered a chicken fetus inside.

My high school girlfriend raised chickens. “About every fifty eggs or so,”
she said, “you drop a fetus into the frying pan.”

Sunnyside up, with lots of Tabasco, and four triangles of buttered toast.
White Jesus comes from white people; brown Jesus comes from
brown people.


3.

Pine trees, pine trees, pine trees.

My family didn’t have indoor plumbing until I was seven years old.

We lived in an epic, and gorgeous, pine forest.

Therefore, pine tree = poverty.

Therefore, poverty = epic and gorgeous.

There is some sort of bad logic in this, but I don’t remember the name for it.


4.

I am asked this question at least a dozen times every year: “Do Indians
celebrate Thanksgiving?”

That’s like asking: “Do Jewish people celebrate Oktoberfest?”
The answer is: “Yes, Indians celebrate Thanksgiving.”

I just emailed a Jewish friend to ask about her feelings on Oktoberfest,
and she wrote, “Never thought about it. No way I’d buy
a BMW, though.”

The best thing about humans: Our ability to forgive. The second
best thing: Grudges.

About 70% white meat and 30% dark, with canned cranberry sauce. And
no, I don’t care how good your homemade cranberry sauce is.


5.

On a New Year’s Eve when I was five or six, my mother, drunk
for the very last time, punched an older Indian woman in the face.

My mother hates it when I write about this.

Once a friend told me, “I heard your mother singing in church today. It
sounded like the river at night.” A nine-year-old Indian boy said
that about my mother! Where is that Indian boy? Did the poet
in him survive?

I am vaguely Catholic, so for the rest of this poem I will fast.

My wife, two sons, and I celebrate the New Year by drinking root beer
floats. I hereby establish the root beer float as the official Native
American New Year’s Eve drink. It should be the only drink
allowed for Indians on New Year’s.

Ain’t gonna happen.

I want to combine Catholic Lent and the Jewish Day of Atonement,
and begin each year with six weeks of apologies.


6.

Dear Ants that I slaughtered with M-80 fireworks, I am sorry for my rage.

Dear Chickens-to-Be that I dropped into frying pans, I am sorry for my hunger.

Dear Family Outhouse, I am sorry that I failed to recognize your primitive beauty.

Dear Enemies, real and imagined, I am sorry for my grudges.

Dear Mother, For having written so many poems and stories about you,
I am sorry.

Dear Universe, I am sorry for all the times that I believed myself to be
the sun around which all of these planets whirl.

—   "Happy Holidays!" by Sherman Alexie (via corrodedvessel

(via newthings-hopalong)